hell above

Day 11:

Strangest place you’ve ever injured yourself?

I have only done it in my room.

Day 12:

Where do you keep your tools?

On my desk. I don’t even try to hide them at this point because it’s not like anyone would care.

Day 13:

What is the biggest realization about self-harm you’ve had?

I figured out why I actually cut. I do it because I am numb. I stopped feeling things a long time ago. Cutting gives me some kind of pain and it makes me realize how alive I really am.

Day 10: How do you feel about your scars?

I love my scars. I don’t want them to leave. My scars are more beautiful than the skin they lay on. They always will be.

Day 9: Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss

These are all the pictures I have ever taken of my cuts. I guess I took them to look back on really. I want to remember. Forgetting my past is something I fear. I need a constant reminder of who I am and taking these pictures allows me to do just that.

Day 8: What is the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?

Honestly, nothing. Yes people have tried to get me to stop, but nothing they have said has helped me. I don’t blame them though. I am too stubborn and I hate receiving help from anyone. It’s just who I am.

Day 7: List 10 activities that help calm you down.

1. Tumblr.
2. Talking to my best friend.
3. Listening to music.
4. Making bracelets.
5. Talking to this one guy who also cuts.
6. Writing
7. Watching YouTube videos
8. More tumblr.
9. Drawing
10. Did I mention tumblr?

Day 6: What do you enjoy about it?

The fact that whenever I do it, I am worried about nothing other than causing my own pain.

Day 5: What part of self harm do you dislike the most?

The regret.

Day 4: Do you consider yourself addicted? Why or why not?

I kinda liked to think I am “long termed addicted”. I do not cut everyday, I go a couple weeks and let everything pile up, and then I cut.

Day 3: What is your motivation to recover?

Well I really don’t want to, but I promised 2 people that I would stop, so I’m trying not to break it.

Day 2: What part of your body is most affected by it?

My upper right thigh is the only place I cut. No one ever sees it, like never. It’s the perfect place for me.

Day 1: How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.

So I basically started when I was 12. I had gotten a scratch from somewhere and I would make sure the scratch never went away. I was basically inflicting the healing process. I didn’t start using razors until I was around 14. I never cut anywhere on my arms though, because I didn’t want any one to know. So, I cut all over my right outer thigh, where no one could see it.

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